An Old Friend

About a month ago, I wrote my old friend, Maria, who was my lil sis in my sorority. For some reason or another shortly after I left WIU nearly 3 years ago....she stopped talking to me. I tried my hardest to find out what happened from calling and emailing her to talking to a mutual friend who said Maria was mad but it would pass and she didn't want to get in the middle. I got no where. So for the past about 2 years I've been struggling with not knowing what happened (how could I do something if I wasn't even around??). As you can tell I can write off shitty people rather easily, but with her it was different....she wasn't a shitty person. So when I wrote the email a month ago I never really thought I'd get a response, but I did. The email sounded like old times, and saying "I'm sorry we lost touch it's my fault and I don't know what happened", and she wanted to meet up. I too wanted to meet up, but I didn't want to meet up with her and be a bitter bitch. I'm not going to lie...I've got some hard feelings here. She was my best friend at WIU and meant the world to me.

Well last night I did meet up with her for dinner. I debated bringing up the long silence because there is no reason for her "not to know" or "remember" what happened. I ended up having a great time with her and she wanted to know about everything in my life, especailly Mike. We talked and talked for hours, but I just couldn't bring up the negative side and ruin the evening. When she did leave, we agreed to try to get together every week/every other week. Shortly after she left, I kinda got mad at myself for not sticking to my guns and questioning her. Oh well that will have to wait until we met up again.

I guess I just don't want to invest myself in this again, without knowing the unknown. I just don't think I could handle the heartache again. She meant and does mean too much to me to have to let her go again.