I Heart Chuck Norris - The Greatest White Ninja

The one the only white ninja!

Hey if you don't believe me...check this out... (compliments of Michael)

http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty

My personal favorite is #1 - Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Weekend Review

Friday-
A rather nice and relaxing night of the piggly wiggly, chicken patties, and nothingness.

Saturday-
We did a little shopping in Janes-vegas just for the essentials. His parents had a little get together for Mike's aunt and uncle that were in town from Boston. We both made a dish for the party...I made my special ritz cracker dip and Mike made bacon ranch pasta salad stuff. So of course we make a competition out of it "who's dish is the best?". I kicked some major ninja ass on that one. Everyone and everything was a good time. Then we headed out to the anchor for a game or two of shuffle board. I don't mean to brag but shit ninjas I'm a natural....and I kick ass. We each were only going to have one drink and call it a night. Then cool guy Mike who knows everyone ruins that. There was some older guy there that he used to play in a shuffle board tournament with. So of course, then him and his girlfriend wanted to try and hussle us. I'm not going to lie... again I kicked ass. And this guy kept buying us drinks and drinks and more drinks. Oh well...free just tastes so good.

**Also rumor on the street is the anchor next weekend is going to have a karokee contest start and I personally think DOGGIE and I could sweep with contest with our famous (once only) Baby Got Back rendition. We'll have to see.

Sunday-
Was a beautiful day of snuggling and loving on each other after again running some errands in Janes-vegas. Also we bought tickets to go see Rascal Flatts this coming Saturday night at the Mad-town Khols Center. So it was the worlds most perfect rainy icky day.

A New Weekly Tradition

The Man From Nantucket

EQUIPMENT: Chair
CALORIES SPENT: Him-75.6 Her- 54

WHO IS THIS MAN FROM NANTUCKET?

I know this is a day early, but I thought it was a good one. Also, you now know what to look forward to "doing" tomorrow (so you can do the necessary stretches for it). This new weekly tradition was requested by DOGGIE...so whatever DOGGIE wants DOGGIE get. Who knows maybe next week just might be DOGGIE style. haha. Enjoy
The Man From Nantucket

One Crazy Hamburger

If you click on the picture it enlarges...it's important to get those directions on how to make a hamburger! This is complements of Missy....Boner-pette!



Yicks! I think I'll just take the fries.

What a Complement!

So I'm on the phone with Mike having a beautiful conversation when I get another call. I click over and it's Karen. Her car's back tire is spinning on some ice in the parking lot and she can't get it out, so she needs my chucky butt. I put some weather gear on and roll out to the parking lot. As I'm walking out there I think to myself...geez I'll almost feel bad if I'm fat enough to get her the traction she needs....but what's a friend to do. Well we try everything and it didn't work. Yippy....for me.......not so Yippy for her. I don't have a chucky butt! She called security before I went downstairs so hopefully they were able to help her. Now that's some crazy shit. Only I would be selfish enough to be thinking about my fatness in her time of need.

Secret Ninja Theories Found on Google

Makes sense to me...haha

Ninja-rific Weekend

Thrusday-

We talk about the earlier drama at about 10:00 pm mind you another perfect fucking time to talk about it since I had a mega midterm at 7:45 am on Friday. Grrr. Whatever I guess it's over for now. He's lucky I'm a super patient person and I can say the same thing a hundred ways to "make him feel better" or whatever.

Friday -

We had a big night out of dinner at Pompeii and grocery shopping. We decided this was best since it was suppost to get super icky out.

Saturday -

We go swimming...man that's good times...but my eyes got all red and cracked out (perfect for going out in the city!!). My sister calls in the afternoon and says that she's coming to stay with a sorority sister of ours in Wrigley-ville and wants to know if Mike and I can come out. So we agree. It was complete drama to get descent directions to get there when is "go down an alley go 1/2 way down and take I think your first right not sure what the name is " okay when your traveling to the city. I got out of control pissed since it took 45 minutes to get some okay directions while I was trying to get ready. It also didn't help that Mike needed to get his hair cut since no hats downtown ( mind you we all know this by now). I freak out on him since honestly his hair was a big fucking mushroom like thing...I felt like his fucking mom. We do end up making it downtown in one piece and have a pretty good time. Mike was the closest he'd ever been to Wrigley Field and was all creaming himself. He was all like "I'm so close I could pee on it"....I guess that's a guy thing. My sister brought a friend with her that I somewhat know. The first words out of her mouth were something like "are you living in a magical world where you think there's valet parking in Chicago". This stems from earlier since I didn't know where we were going and I was asking questions that any normal person would ask like "is there coat check....is there valet parking?" So of course I was like yea...and then preceeded to name off three places that I knew of. I seriously just wanted to punch her in the face. What a fuck'n 'tude! I just wanted to say "hey hillbilly... I live close enough to the city where I think I know what I'm talking about!" Man some people just tick me off since they just think they know everything and it's okay to talk down to people. So this weekend Michalin's friends get the big "FUCK OFF".
It was late by the time Mike and I got home and for some reason T-nutz calls. T-nutz is a big Vagina Mc-Ginstein. I can't stand him since he just can't function like normal humans do. So I tell Mike he better pick up since I don't want him to think that I won't let you talk to him. Mike proceeds to tell me T-nutz already thinks that since he thinks I hate him that I won't let them hang out. I'm totally not like that. So we discuss T-nutz for the next 1/2 hour or so....annoying! Mike's all telling me how T-nutz asks Mike's mom why does Melanie hate me? ...he asks Mike's aunt that he works with too... and asks Mike on a regular basis. So Mike's convienced that T-nutz is really concerned....I was like yea I doubt it he's just trying to make me look like the bad guy since he knows Mike's mom and aunt like him (for some unknown reason). What a Fuck-Tard (hehe A-unit I stole that from you....LOVE IT)! So I basically end the conversation with tell T-nutz I don't hate him I could just do without him. That didn't go over so well with Mike.

Sunday -

I'm trying to sleep in...Mike gets up to pee washes his hands like a good lil' ninja and goes back to bed. All I can hear is water dripping in the sink...so I whine at him to fix it. He can't make the water stop dripping...I was so pissed I've never had that problem. I was like oh well and finally managed to get back to sleep. So later we go and do my laundary. The second we walk out into the hallway and my door shuts...I realize I bet were locked out. The night before when Mike was trying to open my door he was doing is wrong and turned it really far the wrong way and something clicked. I knew that wasn't right. I know everyone else's door locks behind them but mine didn't so somehow in that instant I put it all together. So yea were locked out....I'm completely scary since it's Skanky Sunday. I get all pissed again and have to call sercurity and the fuck'n lady has the nuts to ask "...and how did you manage to get locked out".....what a dumb ass question. So we get back in. Then only to find out one of the washers is all jacked up so instead of doing my 4 loads 2 at a time.....I got to do 1 then 2 then 1.....yea that's an extra 1 and 1/2 hours of laundary time....grrr. So at this point I just get pissed at Mike since the day has totally sucked and whatever he touches gets jacked up. I'm so mean....don't worry we kissed and made up.

I'd like to end with some sweet ninja action brought to you by DOGGIE...
Go to the link then click on Ninja Rap

http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=12f9ca89-218e-44e3-bf9d-78f5c850a4c6&t=c156&f=06/64&p=hotvideo_viralvideos

Re-Guilt

Honestly, how many times should you have to feel guilty about the same thing? I write one fucking post and it blows up on me. Mike and I are fighting (out of no where) about the whole Jeff thing...but it's even juicier now with the whole Nate thing. Since they really relate...but I guess to Mike they do. My phone just died in the middle of it so whatever. I'm pissed.

Porking...interesting....whatever you wanna call it! 

Safety First - A Martin Luther King Day Special

So I'm a day behind...I was gone this weekend. This is from the most fabulous calendar in the world that A-Unit got me for Christmas. It's crazy since Mike and I do this one all the time, why else do I carry that nose guard in my pocket....j/k. I just had to share this one since I thought it was super funny and HOT!

This is what it says on the calendar:

EQUIPMENT: Door Frame (optional: Nose Guard)
HAZARD: Broken Nose




The Earthquake Drill - A Personal Favorite

My Beautiful Nieces

Megan and Madeline

I'm a Re-AUNT!

I'm very excited to now be the Aunt of another beautiful baby girl. My sister had her baby on January 14th at 4:14pm. Her name is Madeline Grace 8lbs 12oz and 21.5" long. She's healthy and beautiful. Her big sister Megan Isabelle (she's 2) is very excited and already had a fight at day care with a kid since he didn't believe she was a big sister. haha

Weekend Update

First of all, my finger that I tried to cut off on DOGGIE'S car door last weekend if healing nicely. My guts aren't hanging out of it anymore. :)

On my home home Friday in the snow, my wind shield wiper on the passenger side went wild and somehow flipped over the wrong way. I drove 40 minutes like this until I could get to my 2nd favorite Oasis in Dekalb. I was on my phone with DOGGIE trying to come up with a game plan. All I was hoping is that some stranger would help me without me having to give head or anything crazy like that...haha. I just wasn't in the mood for that. So I park, shut my wipers off, and get out of my car to have a peek like I know what I was doing. When I lifted the wiper up the clip flew off it. I tried to put it back on but it wouldn't stay. All I was thinking was great now I fucking broke a part I probably need. So I went in to try to get the blade I needed and they didn't have the right size. So I go up to the counter to ask if they had more and they didn't. So I explained to the man what happened and told him even if you did have the right size I wouldn't know what to do anyway. Then I showed him the clip that flew off. He so kindly went out and had a look and was able to fix it. So I was rescued by the moblie man. Why does crazy shit always happen when Mike's not around....honestly it's just not right.

Friday was a low key night of Mike and I doing some shopping at Walmart...always a good time on a friday night. Then came home to watch Wedding Crashers with the family. Yes it was sad we decided against bingo...to gamble it away else where on Saturday.

Saturday was way more exciting. Michalin, Mike and I went to the boat in Clinton to try to win some money a different way since bingo hasn't been working out for us. So we all find a sweet wheel of fortune nickel slot to play on for awhile. I had some luck for awhile then pissed all my nickels away, while Mike was up to nearly $150 dollars. Mind you Mike and I only allowed ourselves to lose $20 then we were leaving. I secretly put in $15 more...hehe. Yea and lost that too. So I put on a sad face and asked Mike if I could have a twenty and go to a different machine. Since he was winning he said yes. I went off the the quarter slots and had some better luck and I quit when I was back to Mike's original $20 so I gave it back. So Michalin ended up about $20 ahead and Mike was $45 ahead....and then there was me oh yes fucking $35 in the hole. So again I put my sad face on and asked Mike if I could play Black Jack real quick before we left since the slots weren't working out for me (probably since I injured my finger last weekend). So Mike and I find an empty black jack table (so no one would make fun of us first timers) and he put $5 down for both of us. He lost right away and I won. Luckily the supervisor lady heard me say it was my first time so she was helping me. I kept winning all the way up to $45, then I lost and ran out with my $40. It was hard to stop...I felt like the master of black jack or something like that. So anyway we all left winners. I'm excited to go back again someday but maybe when I have a little more extra cash. The craziest thing about the boat was the same icky people that we see at bingo were there....or maybe they were just more icky people but none the less there was a plethora of nasties at the boat. Maybe it was because we were in Clinton or maybe it's because icky people love bingo and gambling trying to win it big to not be icky anymore. Interesting....maybe I'll have to take a poll or something to find out why where ever we go to try to win money icky people are there.

Sunday nothing too exciting. Mike and I were lazy until about 2pm then we got ready and went over to my Grandparents house. My Grandma taught me how to make chili tonight so I'm way excited since now I have a ton to bring back to school.

I don't have school until Wednesday thanks to Martin Luther King. So tomorrow I will also be chilln at the homestead then leaving back for school on Monday night so I can get something done Tuesday since I have 2 midterms this week...icky!

To Be Loved Is To Be Commented On

Hey lovers - if you read my blog you must comment. If I find out you read my blog and didn't comment I'll have to "stab" you...it's just common courtsy. Say anything you want as long as it's about how fabulous I am, or about ninjas or pirates...thank you for your compliance. Also if you use the Anonymous sign your post...THAT MEANS YOU SISTER!

Comments make me feel loved.

ROADTRIP to Sphinklerville

From our very own Sauk Valley Directory 2006 p.258 of the yellow pages...



Hello from Sphinklerville

Yippy A New Site of My Own!!!

Hey everyone...yea it's still me Hooter Mcbooberdin just all grown up now...haha. Xanga was getting old and with the recent drama I thought hey why not take an hour and move all my past blogs to a new site like A-Units fabulous site....right? Who knows what possessed me since I have about a million other things I should be doing but whatever.

Oh oh oh....my first story...on ninjawhat.blogspot

To Shat or Not to Shat

So this weekend I was driving home in the late evening from Mike's just like I always do minding my own business on the phone with DOGGIE. When all the sudden I heard a "splat and splash" on my windsheild. I was like "what the jazz" since I knew it wasn't raining. At first I didn't have a clue what just happened, I just knew there was something all over my windsheild. I instantly smelt something really ripe. So I look over to my right to see if I could find the answer....oh yea I found the answer....it came from a hog semi that I was currently trying to pass. Oh yea I got pissed and shit on. Thank goodness it wasn't summer time with the sun roof open is all I have to say. It's so ironic since Mike's dad so gratiously offered to take my car to the car wash that morning...and what a fine job he did only for me to get shat on.